"And I'm going out of my mind

with a pain that stops and starts,

like a corkscrew to my heart

ever since we've been apart".

Bob Dylan

Introduction

Tanya and Thomas were two of our cats, who both developed CRF. Although they did both eventually die of the disease, their experiences and quality of life throughout the illness were very different. Tanya's story is immediately below, click here for Thomas's Story.

Tanya's Story

Tanya was a Blue Persian who came to live with us at the age of ten weeks. She was a happy cat who enjoyed good health, although she was rather small (she averaged around 6lbs for most of her life). Her only real health problem was the occasional tooth abscess which required removal of the offending tooth - she had three of these over the years.

In September 1998 at the age of 12, Tanya went for her annual vaccinations and check-up. Earlier that year her coat, previously beautiful and glossy, had become dry and was showing signs of dandruff which the vet had ascribed to her advancing years. During this visit the vet thought she might have the first signs of CRF but said there was nothing that could be done at that stage - she could manage another five weeks or five years. We were very upset but Tanya seemed stable and we naturally were hoping that she would manage five years.  

At the end of October 1998 Tanya and I returned to the surgery because she had lost more weight and her spine was very prominent and bony. This time we saw a different vet and blood tests were run and the vet told me Tanya had CRF. She felt Tanya had less than a year to live - I was heartbroken. We were given steroids and antibiotics and prescription food as treatment.

Tanya went downhill fast. She soon lost her appetite and lost a lot of weight. She had very bad mouth ulcers and muscle weakness; there were also signs of a heart murmur. We syringe fed her on particularly bad days. She was obsessed with drinking water, preferably from a sink. 

Tanya rallied and made it through Christmas 1998 (when she enjoyed her Christmas turkey) and the New Year; by this time she was receiving steroid injections from the vet every other day. On 10 January 1999 we realised Tanya was suddenly unable to urinate; her kidneys had completely seized up. The vet kindly came to our home and put Tanya to sleep. Tanya was buried in the garden she loved so much; she only weighed 3lbs when she died, having lost half of her bodyweight. We were completely heartbroken.

Please click to visit Tanya's Memorial Page.

Thomas's Story

Thomas, a black DSH, was the local stray, who was already in the neighbourhood when we arrived in 1994. Tanya would not allow Thomas in her garden and he used to run away from us if we tried to get near him, but our next-door neighbour used to feed him every day. She told us he was feral and that she could not get near him either.  

In the Spring of 1999 our neighbour told us she was moving into sheltered housing and could not take Thomas with her. We decided to try and trap Thomas and tame him if possible so that he could have a proper home. It took more than a week (he was very wily!) and during the attempts I noticed that Thomas had an overpowering aroma. 

We caught Thomas in June 1999 and took him to the vet where they discovered that the smell was coming from severely abscessed teeth; he had three removed. Apart from that, he was basically healthy - his kidney values were very slightly elevated but my vet ascribed that to the stress of being trapped, and they reverted to normal later on. 

We soon discovered that Thomas was not feral, he loved living with us and settled in well. In November, however, he had an accident which required surgery, and during the pre-surgery blood work my vet discovered that Thomas's kidney values were sky high. She recommended a special prescription diet and regular steroid injections every three-four weeks. 

Thomas had his first steroid jab in early December. He refused point blank to eat the prescription food but he acted perfectly normally, showing no signs of illness whatsoever, until the weekend of 18/19 December. 

 On the Saturday, Thomas went off his food a little, though he did eat some fish in the evening. On the Sunday he refused to eat and by the evening he was also refusing to drink; he sat hunched up and his breath had a distinctive and unpleasant aroma. Basically, he had crashed, so we should have taken him in over the weekend as an emergency, although I didn't know then that a crash was an emergency.

We went to the vet as soon as the clinic opened on Monday. Thomas was severely dehydrated and my vet put him on IV fluids. She tested his blood and the numbers were incredibly high (his urea was 86 - US: BUN 241); he was also severely anaemic (his PCV was 20%, but since he was dehydrated, it was probably much lower than that in reality). She felt he would die if he couldn't be persuaded to eat; and even if he ate it would be touch and go - she feared that once he was off IV he would crash again.

We were not on-line when Tanya was ill but by this time we were, so I went home and searched on the Internet and found some online support. The people there recommended sub-cutaneous fluids once Thomas was home from the vet's. I spoke to my vet who was initially rather sceptical about the idea but eventually she agreed to teach me how to do them for home use.

Thomas had IV treatment for four solid days and nights, yet sadly his numbers did not fall; his urea was still 86 (US: BUN 241). However, he had at least begun to eat a little, so he came home on Christmas Eve, and he ate well and seemed reasonably healthy. Unfortunately I got the 'flu over the New Year and was unable to give him any fluids, with the result that he crashed again and was put on IV once more on 6 January, this time for three days.

After Thomas came home, his anaemia was really severe and he was very weak, and would only eat ham. We persevered with some of the treatments we learnt about; and now (July 2000) Thomas is doing really well, and has been for some months. His blood work results have improved, and he is now considered to be a "medium numbers kitty". He eats well, grooms himself, goes out for walks and to look at him you would not know he is terminally ill.

In Conclusion....

I do not wish to give the impression that I blame my vets in any way for the treatment which Tanya received, because I do not at all. My vets have been very professional and supportive and have always been prepared to go that extra mile for us. They were prepared to let me try the treatments I discovered for Thomas despite their initial scepticism, and for that I am eternally grateful. There is no way of knowing whether these treatments would have helped Tanya, in view of her heart condition it is quite possible that she would not have been a suitable candidate anyway. 

I do know that when Thomas does die, I will feel secure in the knowledge that I was able with my vet's support to buy him months (or maybe years) of additional, good quality life. 

Update August 2000

It is with great sadness that I write that we lost Thomas on 11 August 2000. His blood work at the end of July showed a dramatic worsening, which came as a shock to us and our vets, because he was acting so well. He suddenly crashed on 10 August and we made the painful decision to let him go on 11 August, when it was apparent that this time he could not fight back; like Tanya, he was unable to urinate. The vet came to our home and helped him cross - it was very peaceful. He had been acting like a healthy cat right up until 10 August, even going out for a long walk on 9 August and returning to eat a large dinner (Thomas's appetite was always pretty good apart from when his anaemia was severe). Although it was a shock for us, I am glad for Thomas's sake that he was able to enjoy life right up until the end and that his last day was spent looking out at the garden he loved. 

My prediction above has come true: although we miss Thomas terribly, there is no guilt. We know we did our best for him, and he and we greatly enjoyed 2000, the year we thought he would not live to see. If I had known he would leave this year (it seemed so unlikely when I was creating the site), I would not have named this site solely in Tanya's honour - Thomas taught me so much about life and love, and about strength and not giving up. My vet said he was the bravest cat she had ever known. Thomas also enabled me to learn all I know about CRF, and this site is as much a tribute to him as it is to Tanya. 

One day, when I feel able, I will create a memorial page for Thomas.  Right now it is just too painful. 

Here's Thomas in May 2000 (he does have ears really, I just accidentally cut them off!)

These pictures of Thomas below were taken in early August 2000, approximately one week before he died. I think they show how well a cat receiving treatments can look and feel, even towards the end.

"'Cause I miss you, body and soul, so strong

That it takes my breath away.

And I breathe you into my heart

And pray for the strength to stand today.

'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right,

And though I can't be with you tonight,

You know my heart is by your side"

Daniel Bedingfield

Also in loving memory of Alex

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